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THE MINOR DRAMA 

No. XIV. 



BEAUTY AND THE BEAST 






M 



A FAIRY EXTRAVAGANZA 



IN TWO ACTS. 



BY J. R. P L ANC HE. 



WITH THE STAGE BUSINESS, CAST OP CHARACTERS, 
RELATIVE POSITIONS, ETC. 



NEW YORK : 

CSj BERFORD & CO., No. 2 AS TOR HOUSE 

Boston: Redding & Co.— Philadelphia : S. G. Sherman.— Pittsburgh: 
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P R I C E 12 1-2 CENTS. 



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C.^ II- Pierce. — Baltimore : Win. Taylor & Co. 






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€l)e Sljakspean Nowls. 



BURGESS, STRINGER, & CO. 

Have in press and will shortly publish, that gifted series of Sto- 
ries of the Elizabethan era, entitled 

THE SHAKSPEABE NOYELS, 

Which on appearing in London created so deep a sensation, and 
met with such great and deserved favor at the hands of the pub- 
lic. They will be issued in the following order : 

I. 

THE YOUTH OF SHAKSPEARE, 

In which the genius and godlike endowments of the great Bard 
are traced from their first budding to fullest effulgence — embo- 
died into one of the most dramatic and striking historical romances 
ever penned. 

II. 

SHAKSPEARE AND HIS FRIENDS, 

Comprising the Poet's associations and friendships in riper years. 
This book is a perfect " Noctes" of its time ; it is a complete 
key to an acquaintance with the bright galaxy of contempora- 
neous writers of that Augustan age of English literature, of 
which Shakspeare was the precursor. 

III. 

THE SECRET PASSION, 

Still more widely developing the leading characteristics, govern- 
ing principles, and passions of him, to whom all offer incense. 
This work supplies a world of intelligence : it is beautiful and 
endearing throughout — worthy of its sweet title every way. 



The above books will appear in the order announced, and the 
publishers rely upon a support from the public that the true me- 
rit of the productions will be found to deserve. 

BURGESS, STRINGER, & Co., Publishers, 

222 Broadway, Cor. Ann St. New York. 



I 











BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 

Beast. Is this your gratitude for lunching gratis? 
Trespass on my preserves ! O he jam satis ! 



THE MINOR DRAMA. 

No. XIV. 



BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 



21 Jatry €*trat)agan$a 



IN TWO ACT^L 

BY T. R. PL AN C HE, 



WITH THE STAGE BUSINESS, CAST OF CHARACTERS, 
RELATIVE POSITIONS, ETC. 



*^~-»--,^«-—V 



NEW YORK : 
BERFORD & CO., No. 2 ASTOR HOUSE. 

1817. 



PI?SiS7 

PafWs 



By Transfer 
Geological Survey 

OEC 8 1932 



EDITORIAL INTRODUCTION. 

*' Beauty and the Beast" is one of the most felicitous 
productions of the kind ever published, and its author may in 
vain hope to excel, or even equal it. Its astonishing success in 
this country, where some of its local allusions can be but par- 
tially appreciated, is an unanswerable proof of its great merit ; 
and it bids fair to retain possession of the stage for a long time 
to come. We do not usually look for moralisms or evidences of 
scholarship in such productions ; but there is a vein of each run* 
ning through this extravaganza, which adds much to its excel- 
lence. The petty jealousy and spleen of the two sisters is hap- 
pily hit off; and the selfishness of Sir Aid gate in allowing 
Beauty to become the victim for his transgression, is a sly but 
pungent hit at a selfishness that is too commonly prevalent. 

The gist of " Beauty and the Beast," however, lies in the 
sprightliness and repartee of the dialogue, and the innumerable 
puns and witticisms with which it abounds. It is worthy of no- 
tice, too, that whilst the piece is very effective, and to appear- 
ance difficult as to the stage transformations, it is really very 
simple ; and with any thing like tact on the part of the mana- 
ger, it may be got up in the smallest theatre with but little ex- 
pense. 



CAST OF CHARACTERS. 

Covent Garden, 1841. Olympic, 1842. 

Beauty Madame Vestris. Mrs. Tiram. 

The Beast, alias Prince Azor Mr. W. Harrison. Mr. Walcot. 

Sir Aldgate Pump, (Beauty's Father)... " J.Bland. " Nickinson. 

John Quill " Harley. " Mitchell, 

Dres8alinda \ »„,„,*£*., c - *„«.. f Miss Rainforth. Miss Mary Taylor. 

Marrygolda \ beauty's Sisters,^ "Grant. Mrs. Mossop. 

Queen of Roses " Lee. Miss Clarke. 

Zephyrs Mr. Marshall, &c. " Roberts, &C. 



COSTUMES. 

SIR ALDGATE PUMP.— Red tab jacket and trunks, large puffs, red stockings, 

long toed shoes, very small sugar loaf hat, and single feather, outre wig. 
JOHN QUILL. — Same style of dress as Sir Aldgate, but plainer. 

THE BEAST.— Flesh arms and legs, bear skin body, hands and feet, large head 
and mask. 

BEAUTY.— Stuff petticoat, tuck-up gown, high neck frin, sugar loaf hat, black 
stockings, high heeled shoes. 

MARRYGOLDA.— Ditto. 

DRESSALINDA.— Ditto. 

QUEEN OF ROSES.— Short white dress, trimmed with roses, wreath of roses on 
head. 

NOBLES.— Rich shape dresses. 



EXITS AND ENTRANCES. 

R. means Right; L. Left; R. D. Right Door; L. D. Left Door*; 
8. B. Second Entrance; U. E. Upper Entrance; M. D. Middle Door. 

RELATIVE POSITIONS. 

R., means Right; L., Left; C, Centre; R. C, Right of Centre ; 
L. C, Left of Centre. 

JS.B. Passages marked with Inverted Commas, art usually omitted in the 
representation. 



BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 



ACT I. 

Scene I. — A Bower of Roses, not by Bendemeer's Stream. 
Enter a Troop of Zephyrs, to the " Gavotte de Vestris." 

Zephyr. How's this ! what, still asleep, my Rosy Posies? 
Come ope your eyes and blow your little noses. 
Not a leaf stirring yet — why, gracious powers, 
Are you aware the time of day, my flowers % 
Have you forgotten that your Queen proposes 
This day to ope the Parliament of Roses ? 

CHORUS OF ROSES.— Ditto of Bridesmaids.—" Der 

Frieschutz." 

Sweet Zephyr, don't make such a breeze, 

We're rather late this morning, 
But don't be angry, if you please, 

We shan't take long adorning ; 
Sleep, you know, will sometimes thus enthrall us, 

You should earlier call us. 

[Music. — The Queen of Roses appears. 

Zephyr. Behold your Sovereign ! Silence, all and each, 
To hear Her Majesty's most flow'ry speech. 

Queen. My Buds and Blossoms, I rejoice to say, 
That I continue to receive each day 
Assurances from all the foreign flowers 
Of their good will towards these happy bow- 
ers — 
I have concluded, on the best foundations, 
A treaty with the king of the Carnations, 
And trust ere long to lay the leaves before you. 
I'm sorry now to be obliged to bore you 



6 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. [Act I. 

On an old subject, but, for your digestion 
At Easter, we must have an Easter Question— 
And, on my faithful Roses I depend 
To bring the matter to a happy end. 
The facts are these : a youth of royal race, 
Of noble mind and matchless form and face, 
Has been transformed by a mulieious fairy, 
Into an ugly monster, huge and hairy ; 
And must remain a downright beast outside, 
'Till some fair maid consents to be his bride. 
My Buds and Blossoms, you will take that mea- 
sure, 
Of course, which best may work your Sove- 
reign's pleasure — 
Which is, that through a Rose's mediation, 
The Prince may be restored to form and station. 
Ere nightfall, I expect you'll break the spell, 
And so, my Buds and Blossoms, fare ye well. 

CHORUS.— (" Coal Black Rose") 

Queen of Roses, we'll take care 

To lay before this honorable House the affair ; 

If We can get two acts passed, without its being nettled, 

The Beast will be re-formed, and the Easter question settled ; 

No rose, here that blows, 

Will vote against a measure, ma'am, that you propose. 

[The Scene closes. 

Scene II. — Interior of " Pump's Folly" 

Enter Marrygolda and Dressalinda, r. 

Marry. Oh, sister ! sister ! times have altered sadly, 

To think we should live poorly — 
Dressal. And dress badly ! 

Marry. We who have banquetted in fair Guildhall. 
Dressal. We who have opened Easter Monday's ball — 
Marry. The daughters of Sir Aldgate Pump, Lord 
Mayor 

Of London once — 
Dressal. And now, though past the chair, 

A Knight and Alderman, who might again 

Wear o'er the velvet gown the golden chain, 



Scjcwe II.] BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 7 

Had not malicious Fortune, at one blow, 
Ruined the famous firm of Pump & Co. 

Marry. Out on the jade ! could she none else have fixed 
on 
To banish from Threadneedle Street to Brix- 
ton — 
Sad change frqm merriment to melancholy, 
From lordly Mansion House to poor " Pump's 
Folly." 

Dressal. It makes me mad to hear our sister Beauty 

Say we should be content, and prate of duty, 
And resignation, and that sort of stuff — 
She thinks a grogram gown is fine enough. 

Marry. And so it is for her — to scrub the floor in, 
To cook the dinner, or to ope the door in. 
That's all she's fit for — with her wax-doll's* face. 
What matters what she thinks in any case ! 

s We are her elders, and her betters, too, 

And need more ornament — than she can do. 

Dressal. Here comes papa — and in a mighty hurry ! 

Enter Sir Aldgate Pump, hastily, l., in great agitation, 
with an open letter in his hand. 

Sir Aid. Oh, Gog and Magog ! 

Marry. Bless me, what a flurry 

You seem in, sir — is anything amiss? 
Or have you heard good news 1 

Sir Aid. Girls, come and kiss 

Your happy father. Pumps are up ! Behold 
This precious letter ! List, whilst I unfold 
The glorious tidings — Fortune, in her sport, 
Has brought the good ship " Polly" into Port ! 

Dressal. The barque you thought was lost on some vile 
rock ] 

Sir Aid. Is safe in Plymouth Sound. 

Marry. You're sure, sir ? 

Sir Aid. Cock ! 

Dressal. Why, she was thought the richest of your fleet. 

Sir Aid. Her cargo's worth would buy all Lombard 
Street ! 

Marry. Then we again in gilded coach shall ride. 

Dressal. And wear the finest clothes in all Cheapside. 



BEAUTY ANO THE BEAST. 



[Act I 



Sir Aid. Again, a roaring trade on 'Change I'll drive ! 
But I must hence with speed, so look alive — 
Where is my youngest hope, my beauty fair ? 
Marry. I'm sure, pa, I don't know. 
Dressal. And I don't care. 

[Retires ujp. — beauty sings without, r. 
" Gondolier, row, row." 
Sir Aid. Hark ! that's her voice ! as any bell 'tis clear. 
Marry. I'm sick of that eternal " Gondolier." 

[Retires up. 

Enter Beauty, singing, k. 

AIR.— Beauty. — ( 4 » Gondolier, row. 11 ) 

Gondolier, row, row, 
Gondolier, row, row ; 

'Tis a pretty air, 

I do declare, 
But it haunts a body so, 
Gondolier, row, row, 
Gondolier, row, row ; 

At work or play, 

By night or day,. 
I sing it where'er I go. 

Beauty. Good morning, sir. 

Sir Aid. Rejoice, my child, for know, 

The " Polly's" safe in port. 
Beauty. You don't say so. 

Sir Aid. Read ! — you can read % 

Beauty. Both print and written hand. 

Sir Aid. Accomplished creature ! — and can understand 

What you do read 1 
Beauty. Affirm that quite, I wouldn't — 

Because, at times, e'en those who write it 
couldn't ! 
Sir Aid. Where's my ex-clerk and faithful drudge, John 
Quill 1 

Enter John Quill, l. 

John Q. Here, master. I am your remainder still. 
Sir Aid. Run to the " Goat in Boots." 
John Q. Yes, master — Dot 

And carry one — [Going. 



SCEW£ II.] 



BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 



Sir Aid. 



John Q. 
Sir Aid. 

Beauty. 
Sir Aid. 

Dressal. 
Sir Aid. 
Dressal. 

Sir Aid. 
Marry. 



Sir Aid. 



Beauty. 

Sir Aid. 
Beauty. 



Dressal. 
Marry. 
Sir Aid. 

Beauty. 



Dressal. 
Marry. 



Stop ! you've not heard for what. 
Order a chaise and four — and mind, John, you 
Must travel with me — 

Dot and carry two. [Exit, l. 
Rot your arithmetic, and stir your stumps — 
This is a glorious day, girl, for the Pumps ! 
Where go you, father 1 
To the ship, my dear, 
To land her cargo and the customs clear. 
You'll bring some present home, I hope, for me. 
With all my heart, my love — what shall it be 1 
Oh, any trifle that falls in your way — 
A hundred guinea shawl, suppose we say. 
A hundred — Humph — but then, your sisters, too. 
Oh, sir, I wouldn't think of asking you 
To buy a shawl for me — that were too rash — 
I'll take a hundred guineas, sir, in cash. 
Considerate child ! But first, love, I must net 

'em, 
In the meanwhile, I'll wish that you may get 

'em. 
But what says Beauty ? is my pet so happy, 
That she's no boon to ask of her own Pappy % 
You've heard the choice of your two sisters here, 
One's for mere cash, the other for Cashmere. 
What says my duck ] 

[Aside.] If nothing, I suppose 

They'll call me proud. [Aloud.] Well, bring me, 

sir, a rose. 
A rose ! 

Yes — in our little garden here, 
There is not one at this time of the year ; 
And I'm so fond of roses. 

I Well, if ever ! 

Only a flower ! — Nonsense, child — endeavour 
To think of something else. 

No, sir — 'twill be 
Enough to prove that you have thought of me 
When far away. 

> Sweet sentimental soul ! 



10 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. [Act I. 

Sir Aid. I'll bring one, though I scratch from pole to pole 
To find it. 

Re-enter John Quill, l., with a neck shawl. 

John Q. Sir, they've brought over the shay. 

Sir Aid. Brought over ! brought it to the door, you'd 

say — 
John Q. Yes, sir. 

Sir Aid. Are all my things well packed behind 1 

John Q. I've added up, sir, all that I can find, 

And here is the grand total. [Shows shawl. 

Sir Aid. A small stock — it 

Won't take much room up — put it in your pock- 
et. 

And now, farewell, my darlings ! Behave pretty, 

I'll come back and astonish all the City. 

QUINTETTE,— (" The Fox jumped over.'") 

John Q. I've just looked over the garden gate, 
And sorry am to observe it snows; 

Sir Aid. Oho ! does it so, John ? I'll wrap up my pate 
One last embrace and away we goes. 

Beauty. Wrap, Father, wrap this round your chest, 

[ Taking shawl from John Quill. 
The day's caught cold, I do protest, 
For, ah ! you hear, it blows, it snows ; 

Sir Aid. One last embrace and away we goes. 

Dressal. Beaux will swarm— 

John Q. Multiplication — 

Marry. Cash be plenty — 

John Q. Sweet addition — 

All. Now without more conversation, 

Here at once we part. 

John Q. Division. 

[Exeunt, Sir Aldgate and John Quill, l., Dressalinda 
and Marry golda, r. 

Beauty. More snow ! He'll have sharp weather, there's 
no doubt ; 
But Pa was always fond of " cold without." 

AIR. — Beauty. — ( u Happy Land") 

Father bland, Father bland, 
Blander none could ever be, 



ScekeIII.J beauty and the beast. 11 

Come again, come again, 

And bring a rose to me. 
You I love, and you I prize. 

You're the joy of Beauty ; 
Your merry heart, and laughing eyes, 

Still make affection duty. 
Father bland, Father bland, 

While the sun shines make your hay, 
But let me hear, soon again, 

The sound of thy post-shay. 
Lirala, 

The eound of thy return post-shay. 
Forced to go through frost and snow, 

Far from thine own dwelling, 
Whether thou'lt come back or no, 

Really there's no telling. 
Father bland, &c. , [Exit Beauty, r. 

Scene III. — A Forest. — Snow Storm. — A crash tcithout, 

r. s. E. 

Sir Aid. [ Without.] Holloh ! — confusion ! — help ! — hol- 

loh, John Quill ! 
John Q. Here, master ! 

Enter Sir Aldgate and John Quill, r. s. e. 

Mercy on us, what a spill. 
Sir Aid. The leaders shied at that confounded drover. 
John Q. Fours in a ditch go once, sir, and two over. 
Sir Aid. " Go once," indeed — a very pretty go— 

And fancy, too, a heavy fall in snow ! 

As the Scotch gentleman says in the play, 

" What wood is this before us V* 
John Q. I can't say. 

Sir Aid. It isn't Birnam — that's as clear as light. 
John Q. Why, no ; it's more like Freez'em to my sight. 
Sir Aid. John — we are in a pretty situation. 
John Q. I'm out completely in my calculation. 
Sir AM. Fate seems determined, John, to use me queerly, 

The chaise is broken all to shivers nearly. 
John Q. I shouldn't mind the shivering of the shay, 

If we could keep from shivering here all day. 
Sir Aid. Is there no friendly power to shield or spare 

A Knight and Alderman, who's been Lord May- 
or? 



12 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. [Act I. 

Protecting Genius, to my rescue fly. 
John Q. Law ! — you've no more a Genius, sir, than I. 
[The Scene changes slowly to a beautiful Garden, with 
view of a Castle in the back-ground. 
Sir Aid. The deuce I haven't ! See, my prayer is hearc 

By some kind spirit, never mind the word ; 

The sky is clearing, it has left off snowing ; 

The wood is " all a-growing, all a-blowing;" 

And yonder, I behold a castle fair, 

Such as I've built too often in the air. 
John Q. Oh, Bonnycastle ! Sir, I ask your pardon, 

Your genius has cast up a lovely garden, 

With beds of roses, and with bowers of myrtle, 

Where the fond turtle — 
Sir Aid. • Oh, don't mention turtle ! 

I'm famished, and would give, I know not what, 

For a good quart from Birch's, smoking hot. 

[A table rises with a bason of soup on it, v. 

Amazement ! at my wish, a bason see ! 
John Q. Oh, Master, wish again, a pint for me ! 

[A smaller bason appears on the table, c. 
Sir Aid. 'Tis there ! 
John Q. Now was't because I wished, or you 1 

Perhaps I've got a little genius, too ; 

I'll try — a nice French roll, sir, if you please ; 
[A basket with bread rises on table, c. 

Now, that I call getting one's bread with ease, 

And that's what geniuses don't often do. 
Sir Aid. This is the best bred one I ever knew. 

Delicious soup ! 
John Q. I say, good master mine, 

Suppose we both wish for a little wine. 
Sir Aid. With all my heart. 

John Q. What shall it be, Champagne ? 

Sir Aid. Stop ! Punch with turtle — Punch a la Romaine. 

[The punch rises — they drink. 

Perfect ! 
John Q. I should say quite. Some more to eat % 
Sir Aid. A slice of venison, now, would be a treat. 
[The soup is replaced by a silver dish with a lamp under 
it, and filled with hashed venison. 

A better hash ne'er smoked upon a table. 



Scene III.] BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 13 

John Q. If this were told, they'd count it a mere fable. 
Sir Aid. Now, if you'd fancy some superior sherry? 
John Q. Bless you, I do ! 
[A decanter of sherry replaces the punch. — Sir Aid. drinks. 

Is it superior ? 
Sir Aid. [Setting doivn his glass.] Very. [Rises. 

John, I feel all the better for my lunch. 
John Q. My head is none the better for that punch. 
Sir Aid. Come, let us try if we can find our way. , 
John Q. D'ye think, sir, that there's anything to pay? 
Sir Aid. I don't know, but I won't wish for the bill. 
John Q. No, don't ; the gentleman might take it ill. 

Which is the way out, I can't tell, can you ? 

My eyes are multiplying all by two. 
Sir Aid. I say, John, Beauty asked me for a rose ; 

I'll take her one of these. 
John Q. Yes, do. 
Sir Aid. Here goes ! 

DUET. — Sir Aldgate and John Quill. — (" I know a Bank. 11 ) 

I see a bank, whereon a fine one blows, 

It can't be wrong to pluck it, I suppose, 

When His by Beauty seen, if we get home to-night, 

So fond of flowers, she'll dance, sir, with delight. 

[Sir Aldgate gathers a rose. — Thunder, lightning, Sfc. 

Enter the Beast, r. s. e., with an enormous club. 

AIR. — Beast and Chorus. [Chorus behind the Scenes.] — ( lfk Garde 

a vous.") 

Tremble you, tremble you, • 

Who dare to pluck my roses, 
I'll tear ye limb from limb, and with your bones the churchyard 6trew. 

Tremble you, tremble you ! 

On turtle soup and punch, rogues, 

You've made a hearty lunch, rogues, 
Now I will lunch on you, lunch on you, lunch on you. 
Chorus. On turtle soup, &c. 

Beast. Is this your gratitude for lunching gratis T 

Trespass on my preserves ! Ohe jam satis ! 

[Puts his club on Pu?np's toes. 
But I will have your bones ground into dust. 
And make a pie of you, with your own crust. 

Sir Aid. Mercy, great King of Clubs ! one moment pause. 

Beast. Well, take a rule, then, rascals, to show cause 

B 



14 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. [Act I. 

Why I should not beat, with this oaken plant, 
The brains of both out — 

John Q. Brains from one you can't. 

Sir Aid. Pity the sorrows of a poor old Pump, 

Whose trembling knees against each other thump 

And listen, with a kind attentive ear, 

Whilst he explains what now seems rather queer. 

AIR. — Sir Aldgate. — (" Under the Rose") 

Great sir, don't fly out, for a trifle, this, 

What harm have I done, sir ? one rose you can't miss. 

Don't make, if you please, sir, so fierce a grimace, 

You'd have done the same thing, had you been in my place. 

I'm a family man, sir, fair daughters I've three. 

There's one they call Beauty, because she's like me ; 

Her pleading resistless, what heart could oppose ; 

" Papa," said the pretty girl, " bring me a rose." 

Beast I don't believe a word of this affair. 

Sir Aid. As I'm an Alderman, and have been Mayor, 

You may depend on the account I give. 
John Q. As I'm a Liveryman who hopes to live, 

If you'll examine his account, you'll find it 

Correct. 
Beast Your promise, then, and oath to bind it, 

That you will bring that daughter here to die 

Instead of you — 
Sir Aid. To die ! Oh, my ! 

John Q. Oh, cry ! 

Beast Come, make your mind up quickly, you or she. 

Decide ! It's immaterial quite to me. 
Sir Aid. My lord ! 

Beast I'm not a lord, sir, I'm a beast. 

Sir Aid. You wouldn't have us call you one, at least 1 
Beast I would; I like the truth ; I'm a plain creature. 
John Q. The plainest that 1 ever saw in feature. 
Beast Is it a bargain *? Speak, I wait to strike it. 
Sir Aid. I'll go and ask my daughter if she'd like it. 
Beast Of course, man, that's exactly what I meant ; 

I wouldn't eat her without her consent. 
Sir Aid. If I object, then, sir, you won't eat me 1 
'Beast. Oh ! that's another matter quite, you see ; 

Come, swear you will return in either case. 
Sir Aid. I do. 



Scene IV.] BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 15 

Beast., By what ] 

Sir Aid. The City Sword and Mace ! 

Beast. 'Tis well, away! I shall expect you back 

In half-an-hour — 
Sir Aid. In half-an-hour] Good lack ! 

How far are we from home 1 
Beast. Four leagues and more, 

But hdre's an omnibus goes past your door, 

And only stops to take up and set down. 

[A Car, on which is written, " Time Flies. No Stoppa- 
ges," wfth a Zephyr for driver, and another for cad, 
enters, l. u. e. 

Cad. Now, sir, Bank ! City ! Bank ! Going up to 

Town 1 
Sir Aid. [Getting in, followed by John Q.] Pump's Folly, 

Brixton. 
Beast. f To Cad.] With the speed of light. 
[To Sir A.] In half-an-hour 1 
Sir Aid. Certainly ! 

Cad. All right ! 

[They fly off, r. — Exit Beast, l. u. e. 

Scene IV. — Interior of Cottage, as before. 

-w Enter Marrygolda, r. 

AIR. — Marrygoldji. — (" 'Tis really very strange") 

'Tis really very strange, 
But people say, on 'Change, 
That 6ome ill-natured folks 
Have dared Papa to hoax, 
And that in Plymouth Sound 
No Polly's to be found. 
'Tis really very strange, 
But that's the news on 'Change. 
They also say, on 'Change, 
"What's even still more strange, 
That Beauty's above par, 
And we at discount are ; 
Now, if this should be true, 
Oh, dear ! what shall we do ; 
'Tis really very strange, 
But that's the news on 'Change. 

[The Gate Bell rings, l. 



16 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. [Act t. 

Enter Dressalinda, r. 

Dressed. Hark ! there's the gate bell ! why, who can it be ] 
Marry. Beauty ! 

Enter Beauty, r. 

How now 1 why don't you run and see ] 
Beauty. I'm going, sister. # [Exit, l. 

Dressah Going! — stir, then, stir! 

She really wants a^maid to wait on her. 
Marry. What has she done to-day ? 
Dressal. Her work — no more. 

Marry. The lazy hussey ! 

Re-enter Beauty, l. 

Dressal. Well, who's at the door ] 

Beauty. My father ! — in his habit, as he started. 

Marry . Can it be possible ] 
Dressal. The dear departed ! 

Enter Sir Aldgate and John Quill, l. — Beauty gets a 
chair for Sir Aldgate. 

Marry. Returned so soon ! 

John Q. Returned like a bad penny. 

Dressal. You've got my shawl ? 

Sir Aid. No — for I've not seen any. 

Marry. The money, sir, for me, at least, you brought — 

Sir Aid. I've seen no money — 

John Q. Dot and carry naught. 

Dressal* No shawl ! 

Marry. No money ! what a horrid bore. 

Sir Aid. I've brought a rose for Beauty — nothing more. 

Beauty. Oh, thanks ! I hope it has not cost you dear — 

Sir Aid. Only my life, my love ! 

Beauty. What's this I hear ? 

Sir Aid. " Forlorn, deserted, melancholy, slow," 

(For we'd been overturned, love, in the snow,) 
We wandered — like two large Babes in the 

Wood, 
Except, that no Cock Robins brought us food — 
When, lo ! a splendid mansion rose to sight, 
Which, talk of Robins, George alone could write 



SCFNE IV.] 



BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 



17 



A true description of — Meand'ring streams, 

Perennial bowers that mocked the poets* dream 

Surpassing all that e'er that great magician 

Submitted yet to public competition ! 

Nor was the eye alone allowed to feed, 

Turtle and Punch were furnished us with speed. 

Nothing to pay — Turtle without a bill, 

And Punch that made a Judy of John Quill ! 

John, tell the rest — for out I cannot bring it. 

John Q. I haven't heart to say it. sir. 

Beauty. Then sing it. 

John Q. I'll try — perhaps the air may do you good. 

Beauty. I shouldn't wonder really if it would. 

AIR. — John Quill. — (" 1 have plucked the fairest flower. 

He thought of Beauty's flower, 

And he popped into a bower, 

And he plucked the fairest rose 

That he found beneath his nose ; 

But scarce had he done so, 

When a monster, black as crow, 

Like an arrow from a bow, 

Flew out and cried, Holloa 

Here's a very pretty go, a very pretty go, 

You rascals, oh ! 

You have spoiled my flower-show, 

And to pot you both shall go 

In a squab pie, oh !" 

Then we fell upon our knees, 

And we said, " Sir, if you please, 

We did not mean to offend, 

'Twas to please a lady friend :" 

On which he answered, " Oh ! 

If, indeed, the truth be so, 

You'll be good enough to go, 

And just let that lady know, . 

She must pay for Pump & Co. 

Pay for Pump & Co." 

'Twas*a horrid blow, 

And it made us very low, 

And we've come to let you know, 



With a sad heigho ! 






Beauty. The horrid brute ! 

Marry. 

Dressed. What was he like ? 



How could you be so silly ? 



John Q. 



The Brown Bear, Piccadilly 






18 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. [Act I. 

Sir A. ) To cut my story short— or you, or I, — 
Beauty, f Must for that brute be made into squab pie. 
Beauty. Oh, horror ! — make a squab pie of my father ! 

I'd rather — oh, I don't know what I'd rather. 
Marry. I hope, Miss Beauty, you are satisfied. 
Dressal. Your rose has proved a nice thorn in your side. 
Marry. Our father's death will lie, miss, at your door. 
Beauty. Never! I'll die a hundred deaths before. 
Sir Aid. My noble child ! [Embraces her. 

John Q. The very Queen of Trumps ! 

Sir Aid. Oh, fate ! come to the succour of the Pumps ! 

Let not the flower of our ancient race 

Be made into a pie before my face. 
John Q. " Tftne flies !" — you told the omnibus to call 

As it went back. 
Dressal. This time do get my shawl — 

Marry. And if you can but bring me fifty pounds, 

Or only five-and-twenty, sir. 
Sir Aid. Odd zounds ! 

Is this a time about such trash to tease — 

When your poor sister — 

Enter Cad, l. 

Cad. Now, sir, if you please. [Exit, l. 

Beauty. Farewell, dear sisters, I forgive you both — 

Go, father. 
Sir Aid. And fare worse — oh, cruel oath. 

John Q. Don't cast up hope, dear master, fate may save 
her, 

And strike a balance yet, sir, in our favour. 

QUINTETTE.— (" Mild as the Moonbeams.") 

To death, per Omnibus, poor Beauty goes, 

And all because her Pa just plucked a rose. 

Mild as the moon, when a cream-cheese, she resembles, 

And sweet as sugar plums, Birch's best. 

[Exeunt, Sir Aldgate, John Quill, and Beauty, h. t Marry- 
golda and Dressalinda, R. 

Scene V. — Saloon in the Palace of the Beast. 

Enter the Beast, r. 
Beast. Gallop apace, ye fiery-footed steeds. 



Scene V.J BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 19 

Oh, if this little scheme of mine succeeds, 
The smile of Beauty will the spell destroy, 
And I shall jump out of my skin with joy ! 

AIR. — B east. — ' ' My love is like a red, red rose." 

I sent my love a red, red rose, 

And hoped she would come soon. 
She can't be long now, I suppose, 

For, by my watchj 'tis noon. 
Oh ! haste and try, my bonny lass, 

In love with me to fall, 
And you may find 'twill come to pass, 

I'm not a beast at all. My dear, &c. 
I know I look a fright, my dear, 

But yet my hopes are high, 
There's many a girl has loved, my dear,* * 

A greater brute than I. 
Say but you'll wed me, sweet Miss Pump, 

And to my own fair Isle, 
Out of my skin, for joy, I'll jump, 

At least ten thousand mile. My dear, &c. 

She comes !— be still, my heart— yes, she is there ! 
And something like a Beauty, I declare. 
Let me retire, nor shock, at first, her sight : 
But minister, unseen, to her delight. [Retires. 

Enter Sir Aldgate, Beauty, and John Quill, l. 

Sir Aid. Well, here we are. 

Beauty. It is a lovely place 

To live in. 
John Q. Yes, but that's another case — 

You've come to die. 
Beauty. That makes it rather duller. 

Sir Aid. A horse, my dear, of quite another colour. 
John Q. There's dinner ready, take a mouthful, will you? 
Sir Aid. They'd fatten you, it seems, before they kill you. 
Beauty. The thought quite takes my appetite away. 
John Q. Master, you'll pick a morsel ] do, sir, pray. 
Sir Aid. I couldn't touch a bit, 'twonld make me ill; 

There isn't any turtle, is there, Quill ? 
John Q. Plenty, both calipash and calipee. 
Sir Aid. Indeed ! Well, if I must, I must. 
Beauty. Ah, me ! 

I'm getting nervous. [Noise within, r.] Ugh, 
what's that ! 



20 . BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. [Act I. 

John Q. The Beast — 

The — the — that is — the founder of the feast. 

Enter the Beast, r. 

Beast, Madam, you/re welcome; won't you take a seat] 

Beauty, I come, sir, to be eaten, not to eat. 

Beast, And came you, madam, of your own accord ? 

Answer me truly.* 
Beauty. Yes, indeed, my lord. 

Beast, Don't call me lord, I beg ; I told your father 

My title is " The Beast." 
Beauty, Well, if you'd rather — 

Beast, But now to business — I'm overjoyed to know 

• You came here willingly. Pump, you may go. 

CONCERTED PIECE.— Beast and Sir Aldgate.— •(" Begone, dull 

care. 11 ) 

Begone, old Pump, 

I prithee, begone from me ; 
Begone, old Pump, 

Thy face let me no more see ; 
Thy daughter who is tarrying here, 

Instead of thee I'll kill ; 
So begone, old Pump, 

And take with thee young John Quill. 

When Lord Mayor, 

Had any one dared to say 
Half that, there 

Would have been the deuce to pay. 
But, alas, they snap their fingers now, 

At Sir Aldgate Pump, and say, 
Ex-Lord Mayor, 

Like a dog, you have had your day . 

\Exeunt Sir Aldgate and John Quill, l. 

Beast, Now, madam, we're alone, dismiss your fear, 
I trust to make you very happy here ; 
Although I feel that I could eat you up, 
I'd rather with you breakfast, dine, and sup, 
If you'll permit me, but I won't intrude. 
You'll find, T hope, my outside only rude ; 
I beg you'll make yourself at home completely — 

Beauty, I never thought a beast could speak so sweetly ! 

Beast, You find me very hideous, I'm afraid. 

Beauty, Why — I — 

Beast, Oh, speak out, call a spade a spade ; 



Scene V.J 



BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 21 



I like to hear the truth, whate'er it be. 
Beauty, Indeed ! Oh, there, then, we shall both agree ! 
Beast. Did you ever see aught like me 1 
Beauty, Yes, the What-d'ye-call 

They once had at the Surrey Zoological. 
Beast. The What-d'ye-call ! and was that like me] 
Beauty. Very. 

,The great Baboon- — they called him " Happy 
Jerry !" 
Beast. Were I your "Jerry," I should " happy" be! 

Oh ! could I fancy you could fancy me. 
Beauty. My Jerry ! nay, in that light, truth to speak, 

There's more of " Bruin" in your looks than 
" Sneak." 
Beast. This candour's quite enchanting ! Matchless fair, 

" Your eyes are loadstars, and your tongue's 
sweet air, 

More tuneable than lark to shepherd's ear;" 

Allow me to take wine with you — 
Beauty. Oh, dear! 

AIR. — Beast. • 

Drink to me only with your eyes, 

If you object to wine ; 
But if you'll taste this claret cup, 

I think you'll own 'tis fine. 
But driuk to me only with your eyes, 

If you object to wine. 

Beast. 'Tis late, and you need rest, I will retire ; 
# Pray call for anything you may desire ; 

Behold your room. 
[ Over the door of a room appear, in letters of gold, the 
words, " Beautifs Apartment ." 

You'll find a wardrobe there, 
With every sort of dress you'd like to wear. 
Costumes from every land, North, South, West, 
East. 
Beauty. Delightful ! 
Beast. Good night, Beauty ! 

Beauty. Good night, Beast ! 

[Exit Beast, n. 
Well, I declare ! a very civil brute ! 
If manners make the man, beyond dispute 



22 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 



[Act II. 



He must be one ; though he don't look the part, 
He seems a perfect gentleman at heart, 
And one that, cruelly, no girl would ere cut, 
If he'd just shave his beard, and have his hair cut. 
Come, downy sleep, a balm from thee I'll borrow, 
And look at all these fine affairs to-morrow. 
[Flings herself on the couch, and falls asleep ; the Hall 
is immediately filed with Spirits of the Rose and Ze- 
phyrs, the Queen of the Roses in the midst. 
Queen. Beauty, you've been a good girl, and I'll see 
That you're rewarded as you ought to be ; 
Dance round her couch, ye flowers and spirits 

bright, 
And give her pleasant dreams and slumbers light. 

[Tableau. 

END OF ACT I. 



ACT II. 

Scene I.— Beauty's Boudoir, in the Palace of the Beast. 
Enter Beauty, richly attired, l. 

AIR. — Beauty. — " Jim along Jotey" 

Oh I Rose, as in yon garden you happened to grow, 
Perhaps, my pretty Rosy, its master you know T 
He looks like a brute, but he acts like a king, 
And — bles3 me, I scarcely know what 'tis I sing. 

Oh, get along, get along, Rosey, 

Oh, get along, get along, do. 
Poor old Papa he kindly let go, 
And he hasn't eat me — as far as I know ; 
And if he should really offer, instead, 
To marry me — Pshaw, what put that in my head. 

Go, get along, get along, Rosy, 

Go, get along, get along, do. 

Enter Beast, l. 

Beast. Good morning, fairest Beauty, how d'ye do ? 
Beauty. I'm pretty well, 1 thank you, how are you? 
Beast. Dying for love ; I couldn't sleep all night 
For thinking of you. 



Sceto I.] BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 23 

Beauty. Oh ! you're too polite. 

I've had a nice nap, and such pleasant dreams ; 
I've got a fairy friend at court, it seems ; 
With loves and graces, all in flowers and wings, 
She came last night and said such pretty things. 
Beast. You feel quite happy, then ] 
Beauty. Oh, no, not quite! 

Beast. Say, what can make you so 1 
Beauty. Dear Beast, a sight 

Of my poor father ; I'm afraid he's ill. 
Will you oblige me 1 
Beast. Certainly, I will ; 

Look in that glass, my charming fair — " Yeluti 

In Speculum !" — Behold him there, my Beauty. 

[Crosses, R., and waves his hand. — Music — The Glass 

expands and shows the inside of the Cottage, with Sir 

Aldgate, John Quill, Dressalinda and Marrygolda, in 

a tableau vivant. 

Beauty. Oh, dear ! he's looking very sad and poorly ; 

Could you just let me hear his voice, sir ? 
Beast. Surely. 

[ Waves his hand. Music. 

Sir Aldgate Pump. — [Sings without.] 

Oh ! where, and oh ! where, is my darling Beauty gone ? 
She's gone to fight the French for King George upon his throne ! 
And it T s oh ! in my heart, I wish she was safe at home. 

[Beast waves his hand, and Tableau closes. 
Beauty. His mind seems wand'ring ! 
Beast. What he calls his mind. 

Beauty. Well, if not very wise, he's very kind, 

And loves me dearly ; let me go, I pray, 

And comfort him — 
Beast. How ? 

Beauty. Just to spend the day ; 

I will return ere Sol sinks in the deep. 
Beast. I dare say — catch a weazle fast asleep — 
Beauty. You doubt my word ! — I thought you more gal- 
lant. 
Beast. Ask for aught else — but that I cannot grant ! 
Beauty. Then you don't love me as you say you do. 
Beast. Not love you !— Oh, my wig and whiskers, who 



24 



BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 



[Act II 



Ere loved so well as I — 
Beauty. There's no believing 

You brutes of men — you're always so deceiving. 
Beast. [Aside] I am a beast indeed, to make her cry; 

Who pipes so sweet, should never pipe her eye. 
Beauty. My pa will die, and you will be the cause, 

My fate is in your hands. 
Beast. [Holding up his hands.] Ah ! 

[Looks at her and remains silent. 
Beauty. Awful pause ! 

Beast. You won't come back again — I know you won't. 
Beauty. I wish I may be shot, then, if I don't. 
Beast. You'll be the death of me, mind, if you stay 

One moment after sunset — 
Beauty. Trust me, pray! 

Beast. Upon your mercy, then, myself I fling, 

And so — to prove my love — behold this ring ! 

Don't start — it's not a wedding one — 
Beauty. I vow, 

You made me feel — I — really don't know how. 
Beast. The moment that this ring your finger's fixed on, 

Hey, presto, pass, you'll find yourself at Brixton ! 

And vice versa — pull it off — you'll be 

As quick as thought — at home, love, to a tea. 
Beauty. Oh, give it me, — I long its power to try. 
Beast. One chaste embrace before you say good bye ! 

DUET.— Tancredi. 

Beauty. Embrace you ? Oh, dear, no ! 

Beast. Ah, say, arn't you content to pare, here, my heart, pray, to the 
core ? 
Remember, 1 do this to please you, all else is naught to me 
now. 
Beauty. Well, to appease you, though 'tis strange, I'll not say no. 

[He embraces her. 
Beast. Oh ! say you'll marry me, I 
Can't bear it any more; 
Say " yes," and all men shall see I 
Can, for you, the world throw o'er. 
Beauty. I'll tell you some other day, 

When I come back— -not before : 
Don't press me now, dear sir, I pray. 
I tremble, oh, dear me ! all o'er. 
No, no, not now, I tremble, oh, dear me, all o'er ! 
Let me go now, sir — to Brixton, to Brixton, 



8c*HKlJ BEAUTY AN» THK BtAST. 25 

Beast. To Brixton, to Brixton. 

BotK. The ring but once fixed on, J »£« ^fi^ 

Beast. Go, then, away, now, to see thy lather. 

2?0*A. Spite o* the distance, J ^,?j U > soon trip it o'er; 

The ring will \ , , ier S to Brixton, ( speed her, > 
* d ne * I speed me, ) 

And in a jiffy j *f" j be at the door. ^ ^^ r 

[T/*e Scene changes suddenly to the Cottage, as before. 

Beauty. This beats the rail-road out and out, I vow. 
This is a way to ring the changes now ! 
Here come my sisters ! how surprised they'll be ! 

Enter Dressalinda, Marrygolda, ond John Quill, r. 

All. [screaming.} Oh ! 

Dressal. Mercy on us ! 

Marry. What is this we see ! 

Beauty. Dear sisters, don't you know me ! 

All. ' Oh! a ghost! 

Beauty. No, no ! — No spirit from the Stygian coast — 
I am your real flesh and blood relation — 
So pray subdue this needless consternation ! 

Marrf { Beauty alive ! 

John Q. Fate up again has cast her, 

And made all right — Here ! Master ! Master ! 
Master ! [Runs out, r. 

Marry. I'm all amazement ! how did this befal ? 

Hasn't the Beast, then, eat you, after all 1 
Dressal. Has he consented back his prey to render ? 

Were you too tough ] — or has he been too ten- 
der ! 
Beauty. Where is my father ? — let me calm his fears, 

And then I'll tell you all about it, dears. 
Marry. He was half crazy — now he'll be quite wild ! 

Enter Sir Aldgate and John Quill, r. 

Sir Aid. Where is my poppet ! — where's my precious 

child 1 
John Q. There she is. " all alive, oh," like the eels ! 
c 



26 



BKAUTY AND THK BLAST. 



[Act II. 



Sir Aid. 

Dressed. 

Sir Aid. 
Marry. 

Dressed. 
Beauty. 
Sir Aid. 
Beauty. 



Marry. 
Beaut y. 
Sir Aid. 



Dressal. 
Beauty. 
Dressal. 
Marry. 
John Q. 

Beauty. 



Both. 
Dressal. 



Marry. 
Sir Aid. 



Oh, who can tell what a fond father feels, 
When— 

Law, papa, pray don't be so pathetic, 
To me such stuff is worse than an emetic. 
Well — anything, child, for a quiet life — 
Come, tell us all— Are you the monster's wife 1 
Or is he dead, and left you his sole heiress ? 
You're dressed as fine as any Lady Mayoress! 
I am not married — and he isn't dead. 
But from the monster have you naught to dread 1 
If he kills me — 'twill be with kindness merely— 
He's all attention — vows he loves me dearly — 
Would marry me to-morrow- — if I chose — 
And gives me — everything you, can suppose. 
He's rich ] 

As Croesus ! 

Croesus? — Oh — I know. 
He was Lord Mayor of Greece — some time 



ago- 



And wears fine robes 1 

A Bear-skin — 

> How improper ! 

A B E A R — Bear-skin — a rough wrapper — 
A sort of pilot-coat — 

Just so — but here 
I've brought you what you wished for, sisters 

dear; 
There is your shawl — and there your hundred 

guineas ! 

Oh, thank you ! — 
[Aside to Marry.] Sister — we've been two great 

ninnies ! 
If you or I had volunteered to go, 
We should have had all this good luck, you 

know. 
f^iseVZe.] To mar her triumph, let us yet endea« 

vour, 
I hate the odious creature worse than ever. 
The fellow lives in fine style, I must say — 
Turtle for dinner, no doubt, every day — 
Gad, if I thought he'd hold his horrid jaw, 



ScenkI.] BEAUTY AND THS BEAST. 27 

I shouldn't mind being Papa-in-law — 

That's if you'd have him, child, — not else, I vow. 
Beauty. But as your ship's come home — you're wealthy 

flow. 
Sir Aid. Oh, no — 'Twas all a hoax about the Polly — 

No matter ! — you're alive ! — so let's be jolly ! 

You are my treasure — as my Lady Crackeye 

Said once — 
'Beauty. You mean the mother of the Gracchi. 

Sit Aid. Crackeye or Gracchi — it's all one — Let's see 

What we've for dinner — 
Beauty. • I go back to tea — 

Remember that — 
Sir Aid. Go back! 

John Q. Not come to stay ! 

Beauty. Oh, no, I only came to spend the day. 

I must return ere sunset, or the Beast 

Will ne'er forgive me. 
Dressal. [Aside to Marry. \ There's one chance, at least. 

We'll try and make her overstay the hour, 

And then the Beast will surely her devour ! 
Sir Aid. Come all, then — let's be merry while we can. 
John Q. If you're for fun, you know, sir, I'm your man. 

GLEE. — ( 4< Come stain your cheeks") 

Come, o'er a glass of good brown Sherry, 
Let's, while we can, be very merry — 
Ladies. Pray, don't get tipsy. 

Gents. Only merry. 

[Exeunt Sir Aldgate, John Quill, and Beauty, r. 
Dressal. Press her to take, some negus — then you brew it, 

And pop a little poppy juice into it. 
Marry. I take your hint — I'll dose her, never doubt it. 

[Exit, r. 
,Dressal. What fun ! — She'll make a precious fuss about it. 

AIR. — Dressalinda — (" Lo I here the gentle lark, 11 ) 

Oh ! won't it be a lark ; here she will rest, 

In a dark cabinet, dozing up high, 
Until the morning, when, to crown the jest, 

She'll be " chawed up most catawampously." 

Re-enter Marrygolda, r. 
Marry. I've done the deed ! — and hither comes the gip- 
sev ! 



28 BKAUTY AM) THE BEAST, 



[ACT II 



Dressal. Where's father ] 

Marry. He and John have got quite tipsy. 

Dressal. The sun is setting now — as red as brick — 

Marry. Don't let her see it ! — I'll draw the curtains quick I 

Re-enter Beauty, r. 

Beauty. Sister — I feel so sleepy, you can't think — 
Marry. [Aside.] It works ! — it works ! [Exit, l. 

Dressal. [Aside.] " The drink, Hamlet — the drink !" 

Beauty. How goes the time 1 

Dressal. Oh, it's quite early yet, 

We'll tell you when the sun's about to set ; 
So, if you'd like to take a nap — 
Beauty. Methinks 

I'd give the world for only forty winks. 
Dressal. Then why not take them in that easy chair ? 
Beauty. If I was sure you'd wake me — 
Dressal. We'll take care — 

Beauty. No — no — I'll drive this drowsiness away — 
Dressal. At any rate, sit down, dear, while you stay. 
Beauty. I'm sure 'tis time — 1 must be going — going — 

[Falls asleep. 
Dressal. You're gone, my dear ! — and see, the west is 
glowing 
With the last rays of sunset ! — Sleep — sleep 

sound — 
I'd not disturb you — for a hundred pound ! 
[Exit, l. — The Scene opens at the back, and the Beast ap- 
pears. 

AIR. — Beast.--" All is lost now. 11 — Somnambula. 

All is lost now — Oh, lor me, the sun is set forever — 

This poor heart in future never 

One hope of bliss can see. 

Go, ungrateful. 

Counted on your word, I had, miss, 

Your behaviour's very bad, miss, 

It has made me nearly mad, miss, 

Quite unhappy, as you may see. 

With all confidence appealing, 

To any man of feeling, 

1M ask, is this fair dealing ? 

No! you've used me, madam, really, very ilj. 

Though my looks might fail to charm you. 

Though they rather might alarm you, 



ScrNE I.] BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 29 

Yet I promised not to harm you ; ■ 

Yes, false one, ye3, and I'll keep my promise still. 

[Scene closes. — Beauty seems exceedingly disturbed in her 
sleep. 

Enter John Quill and Sir Aldgate, r., both tipsy — John 

carrying a candle. 
Sir Aid. John — take care how you go — you'll drop that 

candle. 
John Q. Never you mind, old Pump — here — where's your 

handle ] 
Sir Aid. John, is this language — to a late Lord Mayor ] 

Where is my Beauty ] — 
John Q. [Holding the candle to him.] You may well ask 
" where" — 
Not in your face — It's ugly as a nigger's — 
Not in your form — if I'm a judge of figures ! 
Sir Aid. John ! — I discharge you — 

John Q. What ! — subtract your brains — 

Take me — from you — and pr'ythee, what re- 
mains 1 
A dry old Pump ! 
Sir Aid. Well, well — you'll change this tone ! 
John Q. "Well" — Pump, be quiet, and let well alone — 
If you don't know when you've got a good man, 
I know when I've got a good master ! 
[Music, con sordini. — Beauty rises in her sleep a%d stands 
up in the chair. 
Sir Aid. [Starting.] 

I trust my sight — Back, John — At distance keep, 

Here's Beauty — bolt upright — and in her sleep ! 

John Q. Perhaps she's dead — and that's her ghost that's 

walking ! — 
Sir Aid. Horrible thought ! — No ! hush — I hear her talk- 
ing, 
[Beauty descends from the chair in imitation of Am.ina t 
in the Somnambula. — The two Sisters enter, L. f and are 
stopped by a sign from Sir Aldgate. 

CONCERTED PIECE.— Somnambula. 
Dre$sal. ^ 

S *™Al& ) Bles9 us and save us, where is she going now ? 
John Q. J 



30 BEAUTY ANO THE BEAST. [Act II. 

[^Beauty steps from the chair upon the table. 
Over the table. [She kicks a book off.] Oh, criky \ 
She'll tumble, by jingo ! 

[Beauty steps off to another chair, and then to a stool, and then 
to the ground. 
No, no, she's all right. [ Beauty approaches the front of the Stage. 
Beauty. Don't cry, Beast, I'll come back. 

Sir Aid. D'ye hear that, John ? 

Beauty. 'Tis tea-time, Molly, put the kettle on. 

Sir Aid. SpC. Hear her, how she's dreaming, speaking of tea. 
Beauty. Yes, I have, lost him, and yet I am not guilty. 

All. Oh, listen. 

Beauty. The ring he gave me, alas ! he'll now take from me, 

He'll never let me come out to tea, more* 

All. She wakes ! 

Beauty. Where am I % arn't it very late ! 

I've overslept myself, as sure as fate ! 
It's dark as pitch ! Oh, dear, what's to be done ] 
There's nothing left me but to cut and run. 
Sir Aid. Dear daughter ! 

Beauty. Don't detain me, sir — Good bye 

To all — Oft* goes my ring — and off go I ! 
[Pulls he?- ring from her finger — Sir Aldgate, J. Quill, 
Dressalinda, and Marry gold a sink through the Stage, 
as the Scene changes, and leaves Beauty in the centre of 
a Grotto in the Gardens of the Beast 9 s Palace. — Moon- 
light. 

Bless me, I don't know where on earth I've got 
• to ! 

Oh, yonder is the Palace, this the grotto. 
But where's its master — Good as he is grim 1 
Oh, I've forgotten to remember him. 
He'll say, where are you, Beast] come out to 

play, 
The moon is shining here as bright as day ; 
Come with a hoop, if you won't with a call !— 

[The Leader plays a note or two on his Violin. 
" That strain again, it had a dying fall," 
And mocked his voice — sweet as a special plea- 
der's. [Leader taps on his desk. 
Was that his tap 1 — No, it was but the Leader's. 

Oh, Mr i* — can you my doubts dispel, 

And tell me he is safe — and that all's well ] 

* Whatever the leader's name may ba. 



SCEKE J.] 



BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 



31 



DUET.— Beauty and Leader.— (" All's well.") 

Deserted by his Beauty bright, 

Who promised to be back by night, 
The Bea3t, who saw his hope a wreck, 

Has broke his heart, or else his neck. 

And though a voice salutes } * > ear, 

'Tis not the one J T > used to hear. 

Beauty. Where is he ? Leader, quickly tell ; 
Above — 

Below ; 

All right ?— 

All's well. 

It's very kind of you, my heart to cheer, 
But till I find him, all's not well, I fear ! 
[Ascends the Stage, and sees the Beast lying motionless on 
a piece of rock in the Grotto. 

Oh, gemini ! — what's here 1 — Who's this I see, 
Stretched in a state of funeral bier ? — 'Tis he ! 
Alas! though I broke mine, he's kept his word. 
His must have been the dying fall I heard ! 
He gave me up — perhaps drank poisoned tea ! 
And perished — all along of love for me ! 
Oh, now, indeed, I feel — as 'tis my duty, 
That 1 have been the Beast, and he the Beauty ! 
Oh, were he but alive again — to pop 
The question — I would have him in a — 



Leader. 
Beauty. 
Both. 

Beauty. 



The Queen of the Roses appears, l. 

Stop! 

Is it a bargain ] — Would you really wed 
The Beast, if I could prove he wasn't dead ] 
The lady that I saw once in my sleep ] 
Precisely — Beauty, will you this time keep 
Your word, and wed the poor Beast that lies by 

me, 
If I revive him ? 

Will I 1— ■ just you try me. 
Enough ! — Behold him in his native land, 
A prince — and yet your servant to command ! 
[The Beast disappears as the Scene changes, and discovers 
'Prince Azov upon his Throne, surrounded by a brilliant 



Queen 



Beauty 
Queen. 



Beauty. 
Queen. 






32 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 



[Act II. 



Court, Banners y Sfc. The Prince descends, and hneels 
to Beauty. 

"Beauty. What, can this be the Beast 1 

Queen. Why this surprise ? 

'Tis love hath so improved him in your eyes ! 

Where the mind's noble, and the heart sincere, 

Defects of person quickly disappear; 

While Vice — to those who have been taught to 
hate her, 

Would make, as soon, Hyperion seem a Satyr. 

FINALE.— Chorus.—" Cinderella:' 

In light tripping measure, 
Surrounded by pleasure, ♦ 

We, now, to our own rosy bowers will fly, 
Which care and sorrow dare not come nigh. 

[ Tableau. — Curtain falls* 

THE END. 



MODERN STANDARD DRAMA. 




EDITED BY EPKS SAKGCNT, 


i 


Price only 12 1-2 Cents each. — Already published, 




VOL. 1. 


I *■ 


Ton. 


5. The Wife; a Tale of Mantua. 


2 - 


Ka/.io ; or, The Italian Wife. 


0. The Money Moon. 


3. 


The Lady of Lvons. A Play. 


7. The School fur Scandal. 


4. 


Richelieu; oi\ The Conspiracy. 


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O^ 3 Vol. /., handsome I ti hovnd in Muslin, contains a Portrait and 


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VOL. 11. 


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14. A Cine for ihe Heartache. 


11. 


Richard 1 1 [. 


15. The Hunchback. 


! "■ 


Love's Sacrifice. 


Id. Don Caesar De Bazan. 


Igp* With a Portrait and Memoir ol" Mr. C. KEAN. 




VOL. m. 


17. 


The Poor Gentleman. 


21. Piznrro. 


1«. 


1-Liinlie. 


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10. 


Charles IT.; or, The Merry 


23. Olhello. 




Monarch. 


21. Lend Me Five Shillings. 


20. 


Venice Preserved. 


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|[y With a Portrait and Memoir of Mr. W. E BURTON. 

VOL. IV. 


|| 


25. 


Virginius. 


2i>. Two Gentlemen of Verona. 


26\ 


The Ring of the Commons. 


30. The Jealous Wife. 


27. 


Loudon Assurance. 


31. The Rivals. 


28. 


The Rent-Day. 


32. Perfection. 




With a Portrait and Memoir of Mr. J H. HACKET. 


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VOL. V. 


33. 


A New Way to Pay Old Debts. 


37. Damon and Pytlra^. 


1 34 


Look Before You Leap. 


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35. 


King John. 


39. William Tell. 


30. 


The Nervous Man. 


40 The Day After the Wedding. 


I 


With a Portrait and Memoir of GEO. COLMAN the Elder. 




VOL. VI. ' \ 


41. 


Speed the Plough. 


45. The Bridal. I 


42. 


Romeo and Juliet 


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43. 


Kendal Times. 


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Charles ihe Twelfth. 


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VOL. VII. 


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Macbeth. 






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With the view of giving cmnplet en ess to their design of supplying 
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the stage, the publishers of the •* Modem Standard Drama" Have com 
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The "Minor Drama" will be printed uniform with the "Modern 
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The most ample arrangements have Ijeen made for receiving with 
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The following have been already published : 



5. THE DEAD SHOT. 
(). HIS LAST LEGS. 
7. The INVISIBLE PRINCE 
8 The GOLDEN FARMER, 



1. THE IRISH ATTORNEY. 

2. BoOTS AT THE SWAN. 

3. HOW TO BAY THE RENT. 

4. THE iJDAN OF A LOVER. 

With a Portrait and Memoir of Mr. .JOHN SEFTON 
10 USED UP | 12. THE BARRACK ROOM 

11.' THE IRISH TUTOR. | MACBETH TRAVESTIE. 

13 LUKE THE L\< OURER. 
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The Weathercock, 
The Mummy., 
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Robert Macaire, 

The Lia/, 

The Mayor of Garratt, 

The Omnibus, 

No Seng No Supper, 

The Young Scamp. 



ready, 



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On a Remittance of One Dollar, free of Postage, Ten copies 
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